FINDING MYSELF AGAIN...

3:32 AM

coffee, iPhone, journal

You know how it's 3AM, but you're wide awake because you've been running on PURE adrenaline the whole day, and you're just kinda STILL wired so you decide to be productive?  Yeah, that's me right now.  I woke up groggy this morning, and it was pay day so I decided to treat myself for coffee.  Good/Bad idea.  Good idea because I had LOTS of energy and got everything I needed to do done today.  Bad idea because...well, here I am at 3:21AM randomly writing a blog post when I know I have to be at work in the morning.  Sigh.  

Anyway...I've had a lot on my mind lately.  I started jogging outside again over the last few weeks, and it's felt great!  Just being outdoors getting (kinda) fresh air, and feeling accomplished when I was done has really felt amazing.  Mind you I did walk most some of the way, but an effort is an effort, right?

My little jog/walks have brought to my attention that I'm finally starting to feel like my old self again.    The last few months have been very rough on me.  I suffer from anxiety and depression (who doesn't these days though?), and sometimes just getting out of bed is tough.  So along with help from my doctors, I've been trying to do things that I used to do that made me happy.  Like jogging, cooking healthy meals, regularly attending church, and venting to my friends.  I've realized there are no perfect days, but good days, and yes, bad days too.  However, each day that we have the gift of waking up is a new day to try at it again.  Have your moment...think about whatever is bothering you, cry, scream, yell, write, jog, whatever...but don't let it consume you.  All pain is temporary, and joy comes in the morning.  

Well...that's all.  I'm forcing myself to go to sleep now.

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3 comments

  1. Glad you are doing what you need to do!!!! Running is golden!

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  2. Loved it.. Great read and I can definitely relate!!

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  3. This post is awesome Amberly! You know is crazy how we are all connected and go through similar things. I can definitely relate to all you've said here! I was just thinking the other day how I will be buying new work out gear as motivation to get active. I think staying active can help tons with anxiety and depression. And thanks for speaking out. We all need to know that we aren't alone and go through the same things. So glad your finding your way. God bless.

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